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Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
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Firstly Happy New Year to all.We (MY BOYFRIEND, HIS 15

Customer Question

Firstly Happy New Year to all.

We (MY BOYFRIEND, HIS 15 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND MY TWO BOYS 4 and 6) have just come back from holiday from the coast. It was very short, just under a week. And it was the worst holiday ever. There was so much tension on the holiday between my BF and his daughter and I saw this was upseting him and them I got tense and then it just got worse. My BF and I had so many arguments incl, Xmas day where we had it with my side of the family. I did not see much of my brother during the holdiay but xmas day I sat alone with him for roughly an hour and then my BF fought with me and said we were 3 hours. I was so taken by this and the tension just got worse and worse and worse. We left the day after Xmas for home and then our kids went to their other parent. We were finally alone but then my BF gotr a phone call from his oldest daughter and I am so sorry that I did not keep my tension in. I flipped the fact that she was coming and as I felt my BF and I were not getting alone time together. I do regret it and what I said and Now he says it is over. I have been so apologitic with him and explained that I had no right to voice my opinion about his daughter, over and over again. He has left but I have been in touch with him as I miss him so much. Firstly he said that I need to get on with my life and that was so hurtful. Iwould cry to him, apologising as I said before over and over again. Now he said that he needs time out ust for a week. He told me that he is at the North coast and will be back on Thursday.. An Hour after the conversation I went to the petrol station where I saw him and he Noticed that I saw him and gave me a devious smile. What do I do with myself. I love him so much and would do anything to salvage our relationship but now that I discovered he lied to me. What do I do. Help And I have a feeling that his two daughters dislike me.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jennifer replied 6 years ago.

Jennifer :

Hello and thanks for using! I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. It sounds like you've already apologized for what you felt was an overreaction. Perhaps he needs this week to cool down before he'll be able to have a rational conversation about what went wrong and how the two of you might avoid these issues in the future. A separate issue is the fact that he lied to you. Has he done that before? Do you feel like you can trust him? These are important things to consider when you're discussing how to make your relationship work and the guidelines you'll both need to follow to respect each other (e.g., being honest). I'm assuming, of course, that he meant it when he said he needed a "time out for a week." I'd suggest you not contact him for this week so you both have a chance to collect your thoughts and consider what you want out of this relationship. If you don't hear from him once this week is over, you could certainly contact him to tell him again how sorry you are and that you're hoping to be able to work things out. If at that point he's not willing, it may be time to move on (as difficult as that might be). You deserve someone who will be honest with you and is willing to work on problems together. I'm hoping he can be that person for you.