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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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.my husband and l seperated 5 monthe ago when he started an

Customer Question

.my husband and l seperated 5 monthe ago when he started an emotional affair with another woman while she was leaving her husband and he started to give her a shoulder to lean on. now my husband is still coming into my house and trying it on with me and still seeing this other woman . he says that he can not handle her children and likes to spend time with her and me but connot see a future for himself anywhere. i have tried to keep things friendly for my childrens sake they are 16 and 18 but would like some advice on what to do
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
People often maintain relationships that aren't working because of the children. However it is just an unhealthy to keep a dysfunctional relationship going for this reason. The children learn dysfunctional relationship patterns by doing this. In addition, you do not have to let an emotionally abusive relationship going by allowing it into your house. Your home is your sanctuary and you set the ground rules. You need to set ground rules like when he comes over, for what and for how long. You need to tell him what the rules are how that visiting is supposed to go. Whatever you do find the confidence to limit these visits and their impact on you and your children.

I urge you to distance yourself emotionally from him and show this through giving him firm boundaries for when he comes over. You deserve all of someone and if he can't make a choice than that is all you to know. However in the end it is up to you.