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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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My wife and I have been separated for 2 months now. I have

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My wife and I have been separated for 2 months now. I have been living in the basement and I am moving out in 3 weeks, we have to young kids. I have been to see a therapist since this all began. I had issues with my childhood and father when i was growing up and how he treated my mother. I have since realized that i am not my father and have made huge steps and feel better about myself and no longer hate my father. I have forgiven him. She says she needs time and space to find herself and what she wants. I am giving her all the space and time but she keeps communicating and texting me. Why is she doing this if she wants time and space and to be separated. She has told me and her therapist that she hasn't closed the door on our marriage. It is making it so hard for me to give her her space and time that she wants. Any advice??
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
I agree that this makes it very hard to give space. The communicating alone leaves you feeling confused. A lot of times partners think they want space but because of the time and effort one puts in a relationship this often times make one's words and actions inconsistent. People in living together every day makes moving on difficult and even normal routine tasks difficult because you are used to functioning as a couple.

You are trying to find the space to heal and she is doing things that makes that difficult. I don't know how much you 2 communicate but you should verbalize your concerns and ask her why she continues to hang on. She may not realize that her communicating makes it difficult. Since you would be expected to return the messages use that time to voice your concerns. If she is texting that doesn't mean she is reaching out but it does mean that she is having difficulty with this transition.

If you really want to pull away without discussing it at all, then make it a habit to disregard her messages. She will pull back too
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