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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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my 19 year relationship has ended but dont end

Customer Question

 here is the deal and hope to God you can help, I have been in a relationship for 19yrs Im the man we were never married, 19yrs I will try and make this short Ha! anyway she left me 4mo ago things were not goin well she seemed to develope a parinoid state of mind always questioning me who what where, to the extream of asking what im looking at out the window, she got aan ofp on me, ididnt contest it agreed on everything and anything she wanted, she modified it 3 times said she wanted to get her things by herself brought other people in our home went thru all my paperwork took passwords of mine, paypal ebay ect. put a listening recorder in the house, she has slandered my name to garbage got my daughter convinced im an abusive person , no one has even asked my story, i dont kno this person anymore i love her to death , stalking me 4mo hasnt got her stuff she said she wants offered her the whole place all the vehicals wont settle, she has broke everyone of her own rules on the ofp i have pleaded with her to try and end this one way or the other says i ruined her whole life and i took full blame not good enough, she come home from the hairdresser one day said they told her a peice of hair was cut out since she left she tells people I cut it out when she was sleeping to do some kind of ridtual told me im a number 17 on some show she watched one step from a serial killer tells me this stuff in a voice where she actually beleives it, all her big family wont even talk to me at all, she called last night again every time i hope but just gets worst parioid is this a change of life thing im worried about her well being this is alot worse than i can explain in writing Im thinkin of going to see a pastor today, really believe something happenened to her mind and i ruled out drugs, i love her dearly with not much hope of ever being together again but its terrible seeing her like this something terrible could happen and i want to do anything i can to prevent that, the few people who witnessed some of this said let it go she will wind up in a nut hut sooner or later but that dont sit rite with me 19yrs she 47 i turn 50 in feb
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Walt-mod replied 6 years ago.
My name is XXXXX XXXXX I'm a Category Moderator on JustAnswer.

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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
why is my question closed i never got an answer
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
Some details of this aren't clear to me so I am just going to address one aspect. She truly has become very paranoid and is focusing this paranoia on you. If this is the case, then she needs professional help. Because she is an adult,the only way to access this care is by her. You can get her admitted if she is suicidal but otherwise she has to begin the ball rolling. There may be a need for serious medication in this situation. You can only encourage her to do so. I would not reunite until she has gotten help for herself. I am also curious about why this is happening. If it was drugs, then it would come and go since no one stays high all the time. If it is schizophrenia, then this usually manifests itself in late teens or early 20s. Hope this was helpful
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
what about the menstral thing woman go thru I ve heard stories about this before, I agree she needs help far as some kind of medication , if I encouraged her that would make things worse, its like she is saying Im doing the things she is, blaming me for doing what she is I think they call it projection, I worrt about her well being not just mine, its still going on last wk she called me then the cops and said I called her said I broke the ofp,I used to be a constructive person Im starting not to care about myself, plan on going to doc soon its beat me down, cant do nothing about it
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
It sounds like she needs less talking and more therapy. This is dangerous behavior and can only be addressed in serious treatment. This probably requires an array of treatment options. She can be taken against her will if she is actively psychotic when you call the authorities. This is no period or anything else. This is psychotic behavior. You either have to act or distance yourself completely. You can also access therapy but she needs to address this. Both of you could benefit but you aren't targeting someone. You need to address why your own self worth has changed. Most of all, take care of yourself and your mental health. Make sure you don't become codependent. You will begin to put others first. That is not beneficial! Distance yourself or be proactive. I suggest distancing yourself and seeking therapy