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Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
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I accidentally told this guy that I loved him. Weve only

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I accidentally told this guy that I loved him. We've only been dating for approximately 3 months, which I know is way too soon. I like the guy, but not in love with him. I was in a hurry to get off the phone with him when out came the dreaded "I Love you" out of nowhere. I usually say that to my mom before getting off the phone and I guess it just came out-just like that. The problem: After the "I Love you" I froze (stayed quiet), he remained on the phone silently then responded "I Love you too." I quickly said "got to go, we'll talk later" and hung up. A week ago he confessed to me that he has very strong feelings towards me and his "I Love you too" sounded very sincere, almost as if he were happy and relieved to hear those words come out of my mouth. How do I explain my unintended outburst without hurting his feelings?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Walt-mod replied 6 years ago.
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Expert:  Suzanne replied 6 years ago.

This is a touchy situation!


I think that since he responded to your "love you" with a sincere expression of his feelings, it's going to be hard to "take back" what you said without him feeling somewhat foolish.


If this is a man you do care about, but just aren't ready for the L word with....

Would it be possible to say something like "I spoke somewhat impulsively the other day. We're still early in the relationship, and it's important to me that we take things slowly. I care about you, and my feelings for you grow each day. But I don't want to put a lot of pressure on the relationship at this point. Let's wait a bit longer before we take the step of talking about or defining our feelings, okay?"


Hope that gives you some ideas of how to smooth out the awkwardness --I think it communicates in a way that won't make him feel foolish for having responded.

I wish you the best!


Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience: Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
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