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After reading your post it sounds as though the first thing you would want to do is make sure your mother is safe. If she has dementia and is psychotic she may become a danger to herself even if right now she seems fine . I agree that she needs to be in an assisted living facility. Getting her an apartment isn't the best idea since she will still be alone. As far as her belongings are concerned you would be best served to have them appraised and then if your brother wants them your mother can give them to him. I would not worry about your brother's reaction. If there is a chance this house sale would cause problems with your brother it would be a good idea to have your mother hire someone to handle the entire move, appraisal and anything else. This is a pretty common problem in families when each sibling has different thoughts on what to do. Right now you should talk to your mother when she is clear and tell her your ideas on how to go about this situation and then do what she is most comfortable doing but tell her she would be most comfortable in assisted living. That point you should remain firm on.
With her psychosis, she is not a danger to herself. If anything she was always paranoid and besides calling everyone 12 - 24 times daily, she would suspect the neighbors and others to be doing something bad to her ( like stealing). All this had stopped with the medication (Aricept) that she has been taking. She will sometimes display some of this when she get a little anxious about money, etc. and she is not comprehending the problem. Does not help that she is deaf.
My dilemma is that I feel that I am the most anxious among my siblings. My sister is a nurse and she does not see the urgency to move her. We both also have teenagers (she has a third kid who is 11) who keep us on our toes, so we have not been very diligent with helping her towards a move in the near future. Guess I will have to have an appraiser at my mother's house soon - that means my sister or I having to schedule a trip there. My mother will only get anxious wondering why the appraisers are there.
She is adamant about how she plans to move and I am thinking to move her soon. But do think it would be ok to move her then get her things appraised afterwards and sell her house afterwards?
Hi, If you plan on moving her soon it would be fine to wait until she moves to have everything appraised and sold. You may have to convince your brother and sister in law that assisted living is what she needs.
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