Thanks for you response but there are a few points i would like to clarify
1) we are not getting engaged now. i am not ready. it has only been 2yrs and a half. i would say more at the 4yr mark is when we ll know where things are going. i mean to each couple their time, i just feel that this is mine
we are just living together now and frankly happily.
i have had a couple of bfs before but only for a few months so i am learning as well how to be in a relationship
2) He is not the party type or the going out a lot type and he really dislikes picking up at bars. But i know that he puts peer pressure on himself to compare to other males who talk about their adventures (which are invented most time but whatever that is their world). He told me once, i have no stories to tell. Now maybe because i am a girl i m like SO...i dont have one night stand stories either!!! but boys feel different i supposed.
I feel that is too bad but i cant fix that for him. and i get your point about having sex with another will not answer the relationship question. from what i understood he does not want to answer if he is in the right relationship...he wants to get rid of a craving if i may say it that way. Yes indeed sex is not the same as a loving relationship which is why part of me understands he needs to get rid of a craving. But i dunno how i will react to it if it happens. i may leave and he knows that. but right now i do not know how i will feel. he is also conscious that nothing may happen but it is just putting it out there so i am not betrayed i suppose.
3) I also keep my eyes open and i also have my doubts because my biggest fear is to end up with the wrong person. i always meet and talk to ppl and who knows what might come along the way. i dont need sex to know or feel better about a relationship. i have my ways. and i did tell him that and i find these doubts acceptable before you settle
4) last winter my bf got into a sort of a depression partly because of the rough canadian winter and partly because of that issue. I had a lot of activities for me to pass the winter. he on the other hand isolated himself and his friends got fed up. I
t took a toll on us and he panicked because we hit the 2yr mark. as he panicked i panicked and i asked him to leave for a month. so we separated for a month and i told him to do whatever he wants and me too. if he comes back it is because he decided that this is where he should be and that we are on the right path (who knows what the future holds) but at least we are working towards smth. If he doesn`t feel that way, then don`t come back.
he did come back and we talked and all was smooth since then (i mean we all have the doubts that creep in and out...i am not worried about those) but now that winter is coming a panicked a bit so i figured i would ask. Many things were rectified. he now has his activities and i have mine. we have our activities in common as well. i mean overall it is very healthy
So any extra feedback is great. We love each other i can see it but i just have to make sure i am not being stupid