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Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
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Hello I am an 18 year old female and I am a christian. I struggle

Customer Question

Hello I am an 18 year old female and I am a christian. I struggle with sin. I have become a professional liar and hate it. I have been in a relationship with this dude for a couple years now and I lied to him about my race. I am mexican, full blooded. But I told him my mother is mexican & my father is black. Why? I dont know. I was young and foolish and definitely was not a christian back then. I dont know how to tell him I lied and that my dad is mexican too. I feel like he will never trust me again. And not just him but his whole family thinks that. It's killing me. What should I do? I'm scared.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jennifer replied 6 years ago.

Jennifer :

Hello and thanks for using! It might help you to figure out why you told this lie to begin with... The reasons may help you to explain why you did it in the first place. The fact that you've matured over the past few years and have become a Christian are both a good place to start that conversation. You can tell him that you realize some of the mistakes you've made in your past and it's important for you to be honest with him. Tell him why it's taken you so long to admit this. I imagine the reason is because once some time has passed it simply seems impossible to tell the truth. And now here you are two years later and it's making you feel regret to the degree that you need to stop lying. You could begin the conversation with how you feel about him, all of the positive things you enjoy about your relationship and what you're hoping for in your future together. Then go on to explain that in order to reach those goals together, you know that you need to be completely honest with one another. It's going to be a difficult conversation for you, but I think your instincts are telling you the right thing -- You need to come clean on this. If he loves you, he won't care about your race at all. He may be hurt by the fact that you've lied to him, though. You'll need to reassure him that you've learned from this and you only want an open, honest relationship with him. Ask him how he's feeling after sharing this news and also be sure to ask what he'll need in order to feel that he can trust you. I wish you the best of luck!


What about his family?


I have lied to them too.