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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
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Hi Angela, Thought I might bring you up to speed with what

Resolved Question:

Hi Angela,
Thought I might bring you up to speed with what has happened in the last 6 or so weeks and get your opinion.

I have moved out of the family home to get the seperation under way properly and so that I can get on with my life. I have only being out for about three weeks , and have found it at times very difficult. My ex and I get along at times, but we both can be quite stubborn and angry at each other. She has a new boyfriend who has moved in not long after I moved out. I have no issues with this, good luck to her , but I do think it was to soon for my son to have a new man in the house. Having said that he does spend most of his time with me.

Over the last two weeks the girl I was seeing and I have gotten somewhat closer. My problem is that I dont know if she just wants to be a friend , or still has feelings for me. The last few days specially have been close, we spent the day together on Sunday , in a charity bike ride , that was organised by work. She even came back to my new place and stayed for a couple of hours and talked. On Monday we got on very well and I felt that there was something there , on the way home there was a great thunderstorm and as I drive a long way home , she rang me and asked if I wanted to stay at her place as she was worried about me driving in such heavy rain. I couldnt as I had my son staying at my place. The next day we again got on very well and again I felt very close to her. We spent time together at lunch and we started to exchange small silly txt messages to each other. She tells me that her son asks when I will visit and that she still has a drink that I like in her refirgerator at home.

I have felt that since she has seen that I ma getting on with my life, she has a new found interest. But I dont want to blow it, I know in my heart that I do love her, and want to be with her, but I am not sure about her feelings towards me. I fell she drops little hints , but maybe I am over analyising everything. Her asking offering her house to me recently was not the first time, she asked me if I ever get tired during the long work hours that we have been doing , I could stay at her place, in her sons bed.
When we were having a lighted hearted chat about trust, she said I could trust her to stick up for me when others are putting me down at work (I am a manager) and I could trust her to look after my son.

What do u think I should do??
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 6 years ago.
Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

It clearly sounds as if she does genuinely like you and that you both have become even closer- this is great. In light of all of this, I'm guessing that she wants to be more than friends, however, the key word is guessing. You on the other hand don't have to guess, therefore, I suggest you talk to her about this. The next time the two of you are alone and will not be disturbed, tell her that you would like to discuss something with her. Then have a honest and sincere conversation about your relationship and what you each want out of it and what direction you both want it to go in. Relationships (-platonic and non-platonic) require honest and respectful communication to remain healthy and growing, therefore, communication is the key and not something to be afraid of. Talking about something will not cause it to be doomed, however, it should cause for the true feelings which are already in place, to be brought to the light for both people to clearly see and understand.
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Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Thanks Angela for your response. We went out together with a group of friends from work and ended up sleeping together. I knew that she would like to have a drink when we went out so Ioffered to drive her both to work that morning and then to the dinner function. She did have a bit to drink and was a little drunk when we left at 11pm. But we were having a good time (oh by the way I dont drink) she asked me in to house when we got to her place and had coffe and watch tv for a few hours then she fell asleep the lounge curled up to me. When she woke a little later she asked if I want to stay as it was late and I have a long drive home, I asked were she wanted me to sleep and she said where ever I want. She then come on and we went to bed were we made love.

After the love making I told her that I misssed her, but she did not respond. But the hugging and kissing and the genuine feeling of everthing is all right stayed with me all night. In th emorning however , I got the feeling she may have regretted the night before, she was noy angry or ignoring me , but it wasnt not as close as we were the night before. I rang her later in the day , but she did not answer my call or the txt I have sent.

I am now thinking I have blown it, but I am confused as I definetly thought we were getting closer.


Now what??

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
She did end up txting me the next day, but just a general txt nothing that would give me any indication of how se was feeling. I have answered her message , but now two or three hours later still nothing. I dont understand what has happened, I know (or my gut instinct was she liked me) but this is lack of communication is bugging me.
Expert:  Angela replied 6 years ago.
I have just been back on Just Answer and I see that you also posted another question, so I will address this reply in the other post you have made.
Expert:  Angela replied 6 years ago.
It sounds as if she may regret that she chose to move so fast with you and she may also feel a little embarassed for doing so. Therefore, you could call her and leave her a short message on her voicemail (-if she doesn't answer) and ask if the two of you could meet to grab a bite to eat and talk? Hopefully, she will agree and then during that time, I suggest to follow my previous post concerning the things to discuss with her so that you can both be on the same page and move forward from there. If she doesn't want to meet, give her some more time to get herself together and then ask her again after 7 days have passed.
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