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Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience:  Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
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My girlfriend has a male friend she spends a lot of time with

Customer Question

My girlfriend has a male friend she spends a lot of time with while I am out of town for work. She assures me that she's not romantically interested in him and I believe her, but I have friends who see them out and are suspicious. I've been laughing it off and continuing to trust her, but this morning a picture popped up on facebook of her and the male friend in bed with another acquaintance. It upset me. I felt betrayed. She says it was just a picture taken as a joke. Should I be upset?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Suzanne replied 6 years ago.

Thanks for writing to Just Answer.


Should you be upset? No. Should you be cautious? Yes.


Your girlfriend seems to be taking your relationship somewhat casually. Most women would understand that a picture of them in bed with another man would be, at the least, disrespectful to their partner. Why would she be putting herself in situations where getting into bed with two other people is even a possibility? It at least suggests that there is some sexual innuendo going on with her male friend.


If your relationship is somewhat casual, then this may not be an issue. but if this is a woman you're thinking about marrying someday, then it may be time to have a talk about acceptable behavior that respects each other and the relationship. There's nothing funny about posting a picture of herself in bed with others, unless they were all in Halloween costumes.


Make sure the two of you are on the same page about where your relationship is going. If you're serious and she's not, it's better to find this out sooner rather than later.

I wish you the best,