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Angela, Counselor
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Im am deployed in Afghanistan. My wife has done somethings

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I'm am deployed in Afghanistan.
My wife has done somethings i didnt like. Going out to clubs and bars, talking to guys that are supposedly friends. I got pretty upset and she ended up in a mental health facility. She seemed fine for awhile, but i'm now finding out that she's going out and lying to me about it and she sometimes goes out without wearing her wedding ring. I confronted her about it and she denied everything we both got upset and now im almost ready to come home on R&R but she's not talking to me very much. She wont even tell me if she wants to work it out or if she wants to end it. Im going crazy out here in a combat zone. I dont wanna divorce but i dont know what to do
Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

With all due respect, your safety and well being is the first priority along with you coming home 100% safe, therefore, as hard as it is, please focus solely on this while you are in the combat zone (-I have a loved one who returned home from the combat zone a little while ago). Additionally, when you talk to your wife, in your own words, tell her that you want to discuss the concerns you both have with her when you return home especially due to the nature of your conversation it's better done in person and without you being in a combat zone. Also, when you have whatever little bit of down time you have for rest and relaxation while in the combat zone, at this time think about and write down the things you want to discuss with her along with possible solutions (such as going to marriage counseling etc.) to the problems you have shared with me so that when you return home you can cover everything listed on your list without leaving anything out. When you are getting ready to go home, ask her to schedule time for just the two of you to talk without any interruptions (-for example, maybe reservations at your favorite restaurant) and during this time go over all the things on the list with her. Discuss together possible solutions to the concerns you both have along with what direction you both want your marriage to go in from that point forward and what steps you will both take from that point forward. Lastly, as you talk with your wife while you are still in the combat zone, if the conversations get out of control, try and redirect her as many times as needed during your conversation by reminding her that you are in a life and death combat zone and that you want to discuss the issues with her in person so that you can fully participate in the conversation without worrying about your physical safety.
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