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Ask Lori Gephart Your Own Question
Lori Gephart
Lori Gephart, Licensed Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience:  Psychologist, Hypnotherapist & Divorce Coach providing marital therapy for over 20 years.
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Ive gone out 3x w a guy I met online. Hes perfectly nice,

Customer Question

I've gone out 3x w a guy I met online. He's perfectly nice, and a gentleman. He also likes me wa-ay more than I like him. I just know he's not right for me.

Can I have a suggestion on how to end it? I don't want to keep going out w him b/c sooner or later, he's going to think it's time to get intimate and that's the last thing I want.

I'm friendly and nice o him, but I sure don't give him extra "come on" signals.

I know it's going to break his heart to stop seeing him. And ,I have to admit, I do like all the email attention, but I just don't feel it's fair to string him along.

Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Lori Gephart replied 6 years ago.

Thank you for contacting JustAnswer.


I am sorry to hear about the problem you are experiencing with this relationship. It is common for one person to be more interested in the other in the beginning of a relationship. If you truly feel that there is no hope for this to be a relationship that you will be interested in romantically then it is good to be honest about it to this man. You may choose to say that you would like to just be friends (if this feels true to you) and then he could choose whether he would be comfortable with this. Otherwise, you could let him know that you like certain things or qualities about him (let him know the positives) but that he isn't the right person for you. Remember to be kind and respectful yet firm with this. Think about how you would want someone else in a similar situation to let you know. Not everyone can be the right person for everyone they date. You don't need to feel badly about not sharing the kind of feelings he has for you. I hope this answer is helpful. Please let me know if I can clarify further.

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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thank you for your suggestions. I like the idea of offering to be friends-- and of saying all this respectfully, XXXXX XXXXX Once I make up my mind, I need to make it stick.