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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
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my boyfriend and I had a argument. Currently, Iam preganant

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my boyfriend and I had a argument. Currently, Iam preganant by 4 months, and my bf is withput transporatation and also has a ticket that has suspended his license. His mother and I have been transporting him back and forth to work. He has the money to get his van fixed but he has asked me to register his van in my name. I am not sure about that, also I starting to get overwhelm about him not helping me out with money and I also have became comfortable with him staying by his mom's house for a week now. We are supposed to be living together but I am discouraged because I am tired of him being codependent on me for everything. Plus he does not trust me cause he check on my cell phone bill and bank account information online, and I am not sure how he does that. I told him I did not feel comfortable with registrating the van in my name which he was not happy with. I also told him maybe he should stay with his mom until he gets a full time job. He was not pleased and threatened to break off the relationship. I told him my time was up for lunch and I needed to go but he kept talking so I hung up the phone. He left a messages about how I disrespected him and he would not bother me anymore and he take this as a sign of us breaking up and if I choose to call I can but he leave me alone. I want him to get his van fixed without alwys relying on me. Can you help? Tasha  Should I register his van in my name? when I am not sure the relationship will last, 
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 6 years ago.
Hello Tasha my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

No you should not get the van registered in your name since you are not comfortable with doing this. All the more reason not to get it registered in your name is XXXXX XXXXX he gets it fixed, there's a good chance that he will drive it and if he has any accidents and etc. you would also be liable insurance wise and etc. because it's registered in your name: you don't need anymore headaches or worries. Also, your instincts have been going off in this relationship and they are right on track. It was selfish of him to continue talking to you after you told him that your lunch time was over, therefore, you had no choice but to end the call. He also has trust issues since he is checking your cell phone bill and bank account information which is also an invasion of your privacy- the lack of trust and invasion of your privacy are two more headaches that you do not need especially with a child on the way. Also, it is not good that he is co-dependent on you for everything especially since you have a child on the way who will need to be co-dependent on you for everything- hence I think it's good for him to stay at his mother's until he becomes more responsible and independent and shows you this behavior on a consistent basis.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
thanks..Angela..Unforntely, he continues to threaten to break up the relationship because I recommend this temporary separtation. He states that he is unable to register the van in his mother's name because she has a CDL and she can not have any tickets, so this makes me wonder what is he thinking when he ask me to do the same. I am not sure how far this relationship will last. I brought him some clothes yesterday and talked to me for a hour and I did not make it home till 12 midnight. I called a old boyfriend of mine and we talked abou the situation, not sure if I am using him a crutch or not. He told me to pray about it. Not sure what to say, but by bf thinks we dont have any issues as long as I help him out. What do you think?
Expert:  Angela replied 6 years ago.
His reasons for wanting to register the van in your name confirm my previous concerns in my first post about why he would want to do this- it also shows that he doesn't mind getting tickets if it's in your name based on what he said to you (-why does he think this is okay? Why is he not treating you with the same level of respect that he has for his mother?). In addition to my other thoughts from the earlier post, I also think that you would be better off without him at the moment until he chooses to mature a bit more. Continuing to threaten breaking up with you is a controlling attempt at getting what he wants which is for you to give in to his demands- this is unhealthy and immature way for him to behave in your relationship (-and it will not be the last time that he behaves in this manner if you give in to his demands when you don't want to). Therefore, if he chooses to break up with you, based on all of the above, I would let him do so. Additionally, if he tries to come back to you after breaking up with you, ensure that he prooves himself mature, independent, and responsible before you consider taking him back in order to prevent going through this same type of scenario again. You deserve the best and he can do much better in order to make himself the best for you!
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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I have change the lock's on the door. He has told me to bring him to a homeless shelter if I dont want him anymore. because he can not continue to live at his mom' s home. I almost got into a car accident while I was on the phone with him so I told him I needed space for the rest of my preganancy which is 4 months. I do love him but I can not stand that he makes me feel guilty about wanting my space. He states because I told him to accept his current job which is part time that I aggred to bring him back and forth to work which is true but I dont want him to beleive that he can not man up and accept his own reponsoibilties. He tells me he loves me and does not want anyone else..I am just feedup. Am I handling this the right way?
Expert:  Angela replied 6 years ago.
Based upon all that we have shared, it sounds as if you are doing what is necessary for your mental and emotional well being (-which is the priority here especially with your child on the way), therefore, I think that you are handling this situation correctly.