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Dr. Bonnie
Dr. Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  Experienced in counseling all age persons on relationship issues.
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hi, i have been seeing this guy for a little while but we start

Customer Question

hi, i have been seeing this guy for a little while but we started talking months before in the beginning i was not sure if we suited but I decided to try with him we have met already, and he is very quiet, he works as a social worker so my time wih him is when he has time , he also said that he hates talking on the phone and we text when we can he said he want's to take the relationship slowly i said ok that is fine, my concern with him is that we have seen each other four times already,and also i want to be sure he is serious, he said he is he said his relationships before did not last. Is it because he is never around ?he said he wants a serious relationship but how is going to happen if he is hardly around ? I have told him about it and he was saying he is serious but some times I worry because it can be a week before i hear from him he reads all my texts etc, but he saids sometimes i go on tooo much how should i handle this? i want things to progress i don't want to be nagging him we were supposed to meet last week but he did not text me to tel me he also said he is living at home as well, and he is looking after things at home as well he is 31 i am 34 ,i just don't want to be worring because the last person i was seeing was older but was not ready for a commitment this one says he is but i still worry that he might get bored. H e said it is good some times we don't see each other alot as well .  I  just want to be sure that he is taking me seriously it's just that between us both i am the talker and he is not so i want to be sure he is serious about taking things to the next step how should  I  handle this situtation?Thank you
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Bonnie replied 6 years ago.
You have heard the saying "Actions speak louder than words". No matter what he says, his actions imply that he wants to keep this relationship casual. Casual friends see each other every week or so and have one or two contacts during the week. A serious relationship implies nearly daily contact and spending time together at least a few times per week.

You should go on with your life as if this is a casual relationship. See other people, pursue your interests, do not wait around for him. You will know if he wants to change to a more serious relationship by his actions (calls more, sees you more). Even with all of his responsibilities, he would find a way if he wanted to take it to the "next step".
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Relist: Answer quality.