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Dr. Bonnie
Dr. Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  Experienced in counseling all age persons on relationship issues.
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emotional abuse

Customer Question

emotional abuse
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Bonnie replied 7 years ago.
Can I help? What is your questions?
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I hope so, I have been married for 17 years , over the last 6 years life has got tough .
Over the years I have been over riding things and saying he's just having an other barney and just getting on with life, as I have three boys that need me .
One day It reallygot to me . And I went to a friend that said just starrt writing things down so Idid .
It covered three pages of a3 paper my friend is a health visiter and curate of our church and diected me
to a drop in cntre where every one was at hand . I was then put to victom suport for mental abuse.
I know I'm going to have to move from where we are but its the not knowing where we are going to end up living . I am frightend
Expert:  Dr. Bonnie replied 7 years ago.
I am from the states and not as familiar with the services in the UK. But we have a service which is like "victim support for mental abuse" and they will help a person come up with a plan for leaving. They write it down and give the person emotional support as they reach there goal of moving out. Such a list might look like:

Options for places to live (friends, relatives, on own);
What is needed to move (help packing, help with finances, a job)
Where and how to get
help with finances or a job;
A time line: find a job in 1 month; find a moving place in 2 month; move (this is just an example of course)

The idea is to get the plan on paper (just like you did for your health visitor friend) so that it is not overwhelming your head;

The unknown is understandably scary but taking each step and doing one thing towards working towards a clear goal will help. Break tr down because looking at the whole picture is overwhelming.

See if "victim of mental abuse" service will help you with this.