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Cathy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1436
Experience:  Ms, MS.Ed., thirty years clinical practice
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What does it take to pick up girls at bars, clubs, and lounges

Customer Question

What does it take to pick up girls at bars, clubs, and lounges successfully?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cathy replied 7 years ago.

Hi and thanks for writing JA


The usual way in these environments is to buy the woman a drink. That is the time honored method. If you are looking for women in these areas then you are probably more interested in a casual or sexual relationship; than a long term more intimate or romantic relationship so think with your wallet and you should do fine. Be careful though. Its hard to judge who are you getting involved with and you do not want to wind up with a professional or a player or someone than can harm you in other ways.

Good Luck.

I hope you get the girl.

Warm regards,


Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Never seems to work, they leave and say it was nice meeting u
Expert:  Cathy replied 7 years ago.

Hmmm then clearly there is something in your approach.


You know maybe you should look for a girlfriend first and then tackle the pick up thing next? Most people do it this way. I find that many young males learn cues from their female friends about how to behave in such a way that other females find them attractive and desirable. Have you thought about looking for a girlfriend instead of a pick up first?


I know if you are looking in bars and lounges there is a reason you want something superficial and without strings attached but even having a girlfriend for six months would improve your chances a lot and you could end the relationship in six months or before things got too serious. Take what you have learned and become a better pick up artist?


Let me know what you think and sorry to hear you are struggling so with this.

Warm regards,


Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I'm very confused. Seems attraction for me in certain areas is high. Perhaps it's because they don't know me yet. Could be girls looking at me interacting and me not knowing they are looking then when I tall to them it's good. Probably because what they see the first few seconds is the way I am all the time. Clearly it seems it would work in an area where I can be of attraction and of not of places where I have no attraction to last. Such as work out world or other sport areas instead of a place of just talking. Seems in best buy, express, and girls who are in places of work when I talk with them it seems to work perfectly. Only of places of no business or action of no dancing are areas I should avoid totally when I'm seeking a girl? I tried talking to a few in a bar but it never worked once. Girls seem to be judgemental and places where I don't do it correctly they think l'm unattractive but I find to have the mentality of other places that they arn't thinking of at the time. I don't want to change because of them. However it goes it goes. I'll just stay away from areas of bad interest of me. Is this a good idea or bad?
Expert:  Cathy replied 7 years ago.

I admit I am very confused as to what you are talking about. I am going to opt out and hope one of my colleagues here at JA can better help you than I>

Good Luck and I sincerely XXXXX XXXXX find what you are seeking.


Edited by Cathy on 10/4/2010 at 12:19 PM EST