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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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Therapist- I am 41 and engaged to be married to a man with

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Therapist- I am 41 and engaged to be married to a man with a 7 year old. I have had the opportunity to get to spend some time with her but my fiance has asked that I not attend her birthday party this weekend because his ex wife will be there and he feels it would uncomfortable for her and his 7 year old. I have daughters ges 19 a20 and I invite him to their activities even if my ex attends. We've both been divorced for about 3 yrs. What's the best thng for the kids and our relationip as well?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

Good Afternoon,


His daughter is younger than your daughters. Let her have the birthday party as he had advised. When you get married, she would have to get to the idea that you'd be a part of his life.


Your daughters are oder and had probably adjusted to the family dynamics at this point.

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Thank you so much! I feel so much better knowing we are doing what's best for her. We got engaged 3 months ago, he hasn't told her yet, should he?
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.
He should tell her at some point. She will have to get comfortable first with the idea that he has you in his life. If you've been dating for a while, he should tell her that he would like to marry you.
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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
My fiance said he asked his ex if his 7 year old knew that he and I are engaged and his ex said no and then said, "as a matter of fact, she asks all the time, when is Daddy going to marry us again"? He wants to tell her we are getting married. Any advice?
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

Let him warn her mom that he is going to tell her. If you get along with his daughter, the two of you may decide to go out (plan a fun day) and then tell her. Of course, he can tell her alone (if he thinks that it is a better idea) She has to be comfortable with you though, and doing it together may ease her into this new family union.

He can first check in with her how she feels about it, explain to her that even though he's marrying you, he would still be her dad and be there for her. Whatever questions she may have, let him answer them honestly and reassure her that he'll always be there for her. Children usually fearful or get anxious thinking that the parent remarrying will forget about them once they have a new family.

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