In the immediate future, you can let her know that you are more than willing to take accountability for the mistakes you have made, and to address them. That they only way to learn from mistakes is to first be able to admit when you have made one. That you are not trying to blame her, win an argument, or point a finger. But that you are simply concerned that if she isn't willing to ever look at herself and her own actions, behaviors that you are concerned you two won't be able to grow together as a couple.
That what works best is when solutions from mistakes can be reached, so that the situation doesn't reoccur and you can move forward together. Write down 2-3 examples in which you felt you had something to learn from what you had done. Then ask her if she can do the same about her.... if she can, that is good. If she cannot even come up with 2 examples, then you have a very very big issue to overcome.
You cannot change her, only set your own limits. LEt her know that in a marriage, problems will arise and the two of you need to have a way of communicating and working through things together, in order to have a good marriage, so you really want to get some counseling together now. Frame it positively. This is also a pattern in her, that again may be longstanding, and is best worked through with a counselor. Please click ACCEPT, otherwise I'm not paid for my assistance. Thank you.