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Lori Gephart
Lori Gephart, Licensed Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience:  Psychologist, Hypnotherapist & Divorce Coach providing marital therapy for over 20 years.
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Im troubled by my wife who seems depressed and always has

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I'm troubled by my wife who seems depressed and always has a negative life outlook. She spends excessively buying clothes, decorations, and things that are rarely used. Our house has become filled with clutter because she will not throw out things and becomes very angry if I take out garbage. She refusses to see a therapist. Any suggestions on how to get help for someone who won't accept help or who does not recognize their problem?


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I am sorry to hear about the problems you are experiencing with your wife. While I cannot diagnose her, it sounds as if her symptoms are suggestive of depression as well as possibly hoarding. Hoarding can be a difficult issue since many hoarders may not see a problem with their behavior, thus making them unwilling to consider treatment for it. Hoarding is sometimes associated with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It is a collection of irrational behaviors that defy reason and can be particularly frustrating to those who live with the hoarder since they do not respond to logic about this behavior. Intensive therapy can be quite helpful for those who suffer from this condition, but the individual does have to agree to treatment for it to be effective.


You may find the following website to be helpful in giving more information about the condition of hoarding and help for families of those who hoard:


You may need to set limits on the credit cards, as well as limiting her access to money, until she is willing to get this problem under control. This is a serious problem, and letting her know how concerned you are, as well as setting limits that you are able to set is one step, however, ultimately she will need to be willing to face her problem, with the help of a professional, in order to bring it under control. Symptoms such as these often develop when someone is uncomfortable in feeling their feelings in a safe way. Your wife needs your support, and your encouragement to help her to be willing to seek treatment. Perhaps writing her a letter, or having friends and family express their encouragement of her meeting with a psychologist could be enough to convince her. Be clear, but kind, about how much this is upsetting you and how important you believe it is to get treatment to help with this problem.


I hope this is helpful. Please let me know if I can help further.

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