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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
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how do I end a friendship with a co-worker

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how do I end a friendship with a co-worker
Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

Based on what you have shared, you should definitely talk to her about this. The fact that the two of you are close gives you the opportunity to further share with her why you need to end the relationship. From what you have written, both of your spouses do not approve, therefore when you talk to her about this be sure to start with that statement (-using your own words) in order to keep the conversation on track. Otherwise she may try to redirect the conversation because she doesn't want the friendship to end. Also, talk to her when the two of you actually have time for you to tell her that the relationship will end so that you can end it and answer any questions she may have and then be finished with the conversation (-this way the conversation will not drag on for days and etc.).
Angela and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
To answer your question you left in the feedback comments: Based on all that you have shared, the relationship is causing a problem for both of your spouses and they both want each of you to end the relationship. Therefore, you have to decide if you are going to do that. I think for the sake of both of your marriages, it seems as if it would be better to end the relationship because both of your marriages are more important. Maybe in the future things would change with each of your spouses to the point where your relationship would not cause such a problem in your marriages and you could resume the friendship. But for both of your spouses to be so strongly against it along with the problems it is causing in your marriage: means it's worth ending for the sake of your marriages.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Can I send her an e-mail asking her to meet up with me this week after work for an hour since we only see each other 10 minutes or less or don't contact her over the weekend and just catch up with her on Tuesday at work and ask her then.
In lieu of the nature of your conversation, I think it would be appropriate to set a time to talk to her in person so that when you return to work the time and day would already be scheduled. Also, I think it would also be good to let your wife know that you have decided to end the friendship and etc. especially since you will send your friend an email to schedule a meeting to do this after work.