You wrote: he just keeps going on about how he wants his child to have a good childhood, without money worries(that is his wish, should I not respect that? The issue here is not what he has stated because if he didn't want their to be money worries he would at least let you or even help you to explore the many other possible options I suggested- again he simply wants his way and only his way. Yes he does not respect and value your wants and wishes at the same level of his own or at all compared to his own wants and wishes- tough to be in a relationship like this especially when the hard times hit down the road. If he comes back suggest that he go to therapy with you due to the intense emotional pain he has caused you and I wouldn't take him back until he goes to couples therapy.
To help you get through the intense pain you are feeling, you can do the following:
I am sorry for this painful time you are having. Healing a broken heart takes time and there are no quick fixes, however, the below steps will help your broken heart heal.
1. Get a positive support system in place for yourself which includes loved ones and friends you can trust and share this extremely painful experience with and who will also help you through it.
2. You are dealing with various normal emotions due to being separated from someone you were once so close to, therefore, if possible, I recommend going to see a therapist, counselor, etc., in person on a weekly basis to help you deal with this (-especially any guilt, hurt, depression, confusion, frustration, anger, etc. that you may naturally feel). If you are religious, your place of worship may have free counseling available (-many churches have free counseling).
3. Write down how you feel in a journal. Then close out each writing session by meditating: close your eyes, breathe in deeply and exhale. At the same time think of something peaceful. For example: a bright blue ocean with deep rich blue waves gently whispering against the beach. Meditating will help you through this difficult time and it will also help you to heal.
4. Lastly, a book I recommended to my clients dealing with the same situation, which they found helpful, can be found by clicking here:
Also, write in your journal the different emotions and feelings you have as you read through the book. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but slowly and surely you will be able to overcome this.