Thank you for writing to Just Answer.
There are some real red flags here, and I hope your daughter will proceed with extreme caution.
1.The drama of the suicide attempt with the middle of the night phone call to say goodbye--that was a play for attention: if a person wants to die, they don't call people up and tell them about it first.
2. Keeps a large part of his life secret -never talks about family.
3. Doesn't know exactly how many children he has
4. Went away for a few days, but you don't know where
5. Ignored her birthday
6. Continues to pull away even after he says he loves her.
As her mother, surely you have some concerns about this relationship, or you wouldn't have written to us about it.
As a loving person who would "stand by someone through anything" it is very important that she is careful who she gets involved with.
Yes, he could be having guilt about the past, but why would that excuse him ignoring her birthday?
His push-pull behavior and lack of closure concerning his past, in addition to his tendency toward drama rather than rational discussion make him a poor relationship risk. Having children that he isn't involved with tells you something about his character. He has made two women pregnant, and walked away from them, and he's only 20.
The severity of his behavior and symptoms mean that he needs professional help. This is not a problem that "standing by him" will cure.
Please advise your daughter to take very, very careful precautions against pregnancy and to not make herself responsible for someone whose behavior is so erratic.
You are right to be concerned about your daughter: she's in a situation that has a lot of potential to cause her heartache.
I wish you both the best,