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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
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I cheated on my girlfriend when we first started dating. I

Customer Question

I cheated on my girlfriend when we first started dating. I was afraid to allow myself to fall in love because in the past ive been hurt. I had these new feelings unlike any other time and they scared me so bad that I intentionally went out drank until I was drunk and I slept with another girl. I thought it would make the scary feelings go away, but I was so wrong. Now its two months later and my girlfriend went through my email and found out that I cheated that night. I havent done it since, and now I am so in love with this girl I will do anything to get her back. Its not like me to cheat but I did that night, and now Im losing my mind with anxiety because I want this girl and only her. I want another chance and I dont know what to do. I have tried to explain why I did it and that I would never do it again. I explained that I love her so much that no one will ever take me from her. She doesnt believe me now and I understand why but I am asking for one last chance and I know I wont mess up this time. What do I do? Im losing my mind.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

I suggest asking her to meet with you in person when the two of you will be alone and will not be disturbed. During this time tell her (using your own words) that you want to be accountable for your actions because you love her and tell her that you would be willing to go to counseling with her to try and repair your relationship and then let her respond. I suggest this option due to the severity of your situation, she may agree to go to counseling and it would also show her that you mean business by going to counseling with her to try and repair your relationship. Also, ask her what else can you do to earn her trust back and discuss it with her. After you discuss all of this with her, end the conversation by telling her that you know she needs time to think about all of this and that you will give her time to do so. Then give her a minimum of one week without any contact from you unless she contacts you first. It is important that she have this time and space to think and be alone and if you don't respect that it could further harm your relationship with her. After one week has passed, contact her and then take it from there by asking her if she has made a decision and if not then tell her you will give her more time and then give her another week without contact from you. It is not uncommon in a situation like this for her to need time and space so do not rush her.