Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.
I am sorry for this difficult time you are having. Your husband is being very selfish by having his cake and eating it too and you deserve far better than this. Please don't believe his lies about having a special relationship with him because he is clearly taking advantage of your feelings for him in order to satisfy his own sexual greed and lust. Since you cannot change the locks on your house door, consider adding a lock to your bedroom door, such as a chain lock so that he cannot just come into your bedroom. Also, I suggest sitting down with him and talking to him the next time that he comes by and tell him in your own words that you will no longer have sex with him because this is not a healthy relationship for you especially since he has left you several times for other woman and is currently involved with another woman.
The below things will also help you to heal and to be able to resist having sex with your husband; healing a broken heart takes time and you are certainly worth the time it takes.
1. Get a positive support system in place for yourself which includes loved ones and friends you can trust and share this extremely painful experience with and who will also help you through it.
2. You are dealing with various normal emotions due to being separated from someone you were once so close to, therefore, if possible, I recommend going to see a therapist, counselor, etc., in person on a weekly basis to help you deal with this (-especially any guilt, hurt, confusion, frustration, anger, etc. that you may naturally feel). If you are religious, your place of worship may have free counseling available (-many churches have free counseling).
3. Write down how you feel in a journal. Then close out each writing session by meditating: close your eyes, breathe in deeply and exhale. At the same time think of something peaceful. For example: a bright blue ocean with deep rich blue waves gently whispering against the beach. Meditating will help you through this difficult time and it will also help you to heal. It will take some time, but you will get through this very painful and difficult time if you do the above steps.
4. A book I recommended to my clients dealing with the same situation, which they found helpful, can be found by clicking here:
I know it doesn't seem like it now, but slowly and surely you will be able to overcome this.