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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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my husband and i have been married 3 years and have had sex

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my husband and i have been married 3 years and have had sex twice and that was just about 3 years ago. he said i started to change months before marriage.
i thought he changed. he says i'm bossy, i'm not, i ask for help from him to help around the house and pick up his shoes but i thought love conquered all and now am finding out just last week it's because i'm too bossy, yet we have tried probably 2 years ago and before and he gets an erection and then it fails during the process, i think he's using me being bossy as an excuse because he can't stay up for the performance. that is really selfish if you ask me to blame me for his libido problems. i love him and want to make it work and i do have desire for him but i guess i've just turned him off or he was never on?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

Good Morning,

 

You can not be held responsible for his libido issues or whatever else is going on in his head. He would have to communicate better with you (the marriage is something to be sustained by both partners)

 

Before you make any major decisions, see what he is willing to do about the situation (it had been going on for a while) Is he willing to talk to someone, go to marital therapy, etc?

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
what do you think about him saying i'm bossy, which i really don't think i am.
i would think any two people that had anything in common and really liked each other not even love could have sex. why would he put this on me. if you really really love someone couldn't you get past anything and still want to have sex with them, he says he loves me but i really wonder. making love is a part of showing love and intamacy.
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.
It may be his way of diverting from the real issue/ as defense mechanism (or it can be his perception but he should have spoken up earlier. ) Yes, making love is showing intimacy and can lead to feeling emotionally connected. He may have ED and should at least see an urologist. If the problem is not physiological, then it may be psychological.
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