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The problem is my sister-in-law has a daughter the same age as mine and she insists on coming up when I do, so that they can visit with one another and you know what happens then.
As she lives in the States and can see my family more often on other major holidays, is it so awful of me to ask to have Christmas without them. My daughter will practically be grown in two years' time and can then see them on her own if she likes. In the meantime, I wouldn't mind having something my way for once.
My mother is elderly and Christmas is important to her as well as to my daughter, so even though it is not my favorite holiday, I am very hesitant to postpone it.
You have not directly answered my question. My feelings have been dismissed by my sister-in-law and my other family members so many times over the years that I do not want to negotiate with them further.
My sister-in-law has a different budget, a different set of interests, and no respect for anyone else's time. If she is two hours late for an appointment she considers herself early! We are incompatible on all levels.
Unlike me, she is able to celebrate the other major holidays with my mother, and I would like to ask her not to come up for Christmas. Do you think this is an unreasonable request?