Hello Dr. Rossi, I have not received a reply until now.
yes, I did break it off with my boyfriend that I miss, because he did not ever tell me that he loved me while we were together almost 2 years. I loved him unconditionaly and was afraid to lose him if I spoke up. He finally told me he loved me when I got tired of hoping and waiting. Part of the reason for our break up is that I did not share with him how discouraged and disapointed I really was.
I met my current boyfriend during my break up time and have been confused for one year now. My boyfriend now has grown so impatient with me with my confusion. When he hurts my feelings he does not want to hear about it. He says that i am overreacting and that I am only hurting myself. He wont respond to my calls when i express any negative feelings and avoids me, he says he does not have the energy for it. I told him that it is healthy to argue, but he doesnt like to talk about bad feelings. We do have fun together but I am realizing now that we dont connect deeply or spiritually; however, my life is easier with him financially.
Two months ago I decided the "back and forth" feelings with my confusion had to end and I decided to be single. That was a disaster because I spent almost two weeks with anxiety attacks and uncontrollable crying. I get so scared of being alone and afraid I will feel anxiety like I felt during that time. the anxiety was terrible and I couldnt stand it, not one second.
the truth is I still love my ex boyfriend and there are times when I miss him very much. I miss how we connected so effortlessly we could talk for hours. I miss talking to him and sharing our thoughts and feelings that we, at the end of our relationship, began to learn to share. I was just so hurt by him that I couldnt be with him very long without feeling anger and resentment. The "con" that I am facing is that I am also tired of struggling financially with my two sons and knowing that my ex boyfriend struggles adds so much stress to my life. I wish i did not think that way about it, but it makes me fearful of my future with my ex boyfriend. Even though I know he and I would be great and broke together. He is also 12 years older than me and although he takes good care of himself it worries me