Ok so heres more. She had recently broke up with a guy she had dated for about 6 months. They broke up in March. So I have had such strong feelings for her, and knowing she was moving I decided to write the letter so it was one sided and i could explain my thoughts to her without interuption, and also so she will always have it (providing she kept it) It was hand written by the way.
So after giving it to her, one night after work. She texted me the following morning saying "thank you for the letter, its lovely, still processing it all, well talk tomorrow" So the the day came to talk, but we worked a whole shift together and didnt get a chance to talk til after work. Of course I couldnt help but count down the minutes til we left. So we're walking out and she asked if we could talk another time, but there was no way I could wait, so i said we need to address this. So iasked her what she thought and she said it was really sweet and that she does have feelings for me, but she kept reitterating that shes leaving for NY. So I was bummed she didnt talk to much, because shes the type if shes not in a relationship shes tight lipped. So as we were talking she did explain to me that its nice to see the serious side of me and that i compliment her in ways no other guy has really done. The she did say..."so what do you want to do have a long dist relationship?" So i said that if i had to say yes or no, the of course yes, but it wouldnt be realistic since shes going to figure out whatever it is she needs to be there for, and she respected that i said that.
So everythign that i could say to her, i said, kinda retelling the letter in my own words, and her biggest comeback was bad timing and shes leaving for NY , not sure what to do? I asked her if she wasnt leaving could we go on dates and see what happens, she said yes, but it seemed like the kind of yes to maybe put me at ease....
Mind you the the letter took place on a Saturday night...the night before a Friday, we all hung out in a big group for drinks, and prior to me showing up, she had told a female co-worker, and her boyfriend that she was still attracted to me and likes me, but i didnt take us serious the first time. reason being the coworkers boyfriend had asked the girl i like..."what is up with you guys, are you dating, so she explained. But htis is the thing...people always ask if we are dating because they say she might act a certain way when we're out, or some people have said to me, she always has an eye on me when we're working...i somehow have never picked up on this??
So needless to say a few times since then she has been distant at times, but then some days sorta flirty, but nothing too major. But heres the thing...if someone has just told you they are in love with you, and you didnt feel that way (at all) then i for one wouldnt continue to flirt in anyway...where as, she does. So the following saturday after work, we had had a few drinks after work and for some reason her and I almost shared an awkward kiss, but she kissed me on the cheek and went back out to the bar area. her and I are both Bar Managers. So we left kinda late and I had to oen my moth and ask her what that was, but she played it off, and i got somewhat emotional and just said..it sucks that I have told her how I truly feel but yet have no idea if she has any feelings for me at all...again saying yea, but its just complicated for her right now. mind you she was sitting in her car and it had just started raining and i must have stood in it for 20 mins telling more things, I could tell she felt for me as my eyes were welling up with tears, i held them back and she reached out and hugged me for a bit, then said she had to go. Hopefully that didnt turn her off too much as Im thinking it didnt because she still treats me about the same at work.
So i know some of her family from dating previous her mom and dad (who love me) and her brothers, the same..but i had just met her sister as of last week (officially) Just this past Fri i went up to where we work and the girl of interest was working and she came up and says, my sister is here, so i said, oh do you wnat to introduce me and she said no, shes with a friend, which i thought to be odd? So some time went by and i notice her and her sister smiling and lookign at me, and she said "my sister wnated me to tell you, our mom said hello" So i went over and introduced myself to the sister and we hit it off very well. the next morning I get a text from the girl and she says "my sister thinks youre cute" with a smiley face. So later on that night she kept giving me a play by play of how her night is going and that she was trying to get up to our bar for drinks closer to 1 am, but her sister (just turned 21) was drunk and they had to go home. So as shes explaining the night to me, which was rare in the first place...sends me a text that said "do you miss me?" So you can imagine why my mind is on this emotional rollercoaster. So work is work, we have always been able to remain friends and civil to each other through good and bad. I send her a text here and there just to be sweet and let her know im here if she needs anything. At this point she appears to be cautious of hanging out alone, but in a group setting, no problem. So I wanted to take her to dinner, but don't think its an option. Sometimes I might say or text soemthing to her and dont get a response..other times a do??? So its Tuesday 8-3-10 and Wednesday is her last day of work and she leaves for NY on the 10th. And from the 6th - the 8th, shes going to Vegas with her family. Im nervous after our last night of work (wed) I may not gte a goodbye before she leaves?? I suppose if that happens, that sort of speaks volumes how she sees me, or us?
Her and I have a mutual friend we are both close to, and the friend says to just sit this one out see what happens when shes in NY? But me being a pessamist (when it comes to relationships) just think ...ok, her and I have talked, she'll be in NY for 2 - 3 months thats it, thats all she wrote, and not give me a thought. Because the thing is, other then her going to just live for the experience, i dont know the real reason she needs this temporary escape? To get over the last relationship, where we live? change of pace? i dont know? Shes 30, lives at home and has a bach degree and a licenced massage therapist, by trait. Me Im 33, have my own apartment current bar manager, was in the navy and persuiong a career in law enforcement..or have toyed with the idea of opening my own bar/restaurant?
Anyway, thats the story of her and I. her name Starts with "H" and mine with a "K" So as far as what is in stor for H and K, I really with I knew. Ive felty depressed over it lately, and have been through one bad break up about 3 years ago, and this feels like that did in some ways, the emotional attachment anyway
I know this is a novel and hope you can follow? However, once you have a resonse for this which i would like...I would very much like to send you what i had written to her, to maybe get a sense of how she may have taken it? ...As a woman....
Thank you for everything so far!!