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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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I cant stop thinking about my ex husband and our marriage.

Resolved Question:

I can't stop thinking about my ex husband and our marriage. It was a hard marriage full of disagreements and arguing with a few good times in between. We were so opposite we could not agree on anything hardly. But I keep going over and over the marriage in my head everyday. He wants no communication with me even though I email him now and then to let him know what's happening with his old friends, etc. I just want a civil relationship with him and not this exile from his life. We were good friends before we got married and I had hoped we could get back to that. How can I stop this constant thinking without just becoming busy or trying to get into another relationship just to forget my ex?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 6 years ago.

Good Morning,

 

Your repetitive thoughts may be a way of you trying to rationalize what had taken place. Perhaps you're hopeful that things can be helped that he can change hence, not letting go of the thoughts.

 

It sounds like you had gone through a lot with him. It may not be a wise idea to rekindle a friendship with him (he had moved on, and hopefully you would too) Some partners are just not meant for one another (and you're correct- people have to have more things in common to have a good solid relationship)

 

You would want to make an effort to see the situation objectively, redirect your thoughts onto something else (whatever it is that makes you feel better and happier) The mind accepts whatever information you send to it. When you catch yourself thinking or obsessing about your ex, try to immediately shift to thinking about anything but tea. It will take practice but the brain is flexible.

 

Why not start dating or at least looking into such an opportunity? You can do anything you want.

 

Emotional Unavailability : Recognizing It, Understanding It, and Avoiding Its Trap - Paperback (Mar. 11, 1998) by Bryn Collins

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