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Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1492
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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I found out my boyfriend still communicates frequently with

Customer Question

I found out my boyfriend still communicates frequently with the girl he dated before me and tells her he loves her and misses her when they speak. when i found out i told him he had to make a decision between the two of us. he said the only way he would is if he could still be friends with her. he assures me that he is happy with me and just didn't want to lose her friendship and that he hasn't cheated on me with her. he emailed her and told her he was with me and he would like to be friends but not in the same capacity as before. then i find that he started to write another email to her apologizing for saying that and telling her he was drunk and made a mistake and it broke his heart and he should have just left me. he didn't send the email and he deleted it, but it still hurts to know he felt that way even for a moment. should i trust him and continue this relationship with him? i'm so confused, i enjoy being with him but i know its going to be hard to trust him again and to believe that there is nothing between the two of them. and even after he assured me that he doesn't think about her when he's with me and he made his decision and even if she begs him to come back he won't i still feel a bit like his thoughts might have been with her from time to time. he was a bit distant with me the next day but when i asked him about it he said he wasn't feeling well which i accepted since we didn't get much sleep since we were up all night talking about this issue and coming to a resolution. he is kind and caring with me and he always goes the extra mile to make sure i'm taken care of and having a good time, i don't want him to sound like a horrible person. what should i do?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
Listen to what your gut is telling you. Just the mere fact that you are questioning his trust and motives should be a red flag to tell you to get the heck out of there. He will cheat on you the first chance he gets. He is thinking about her and would get back with her if he had the chance. He has made it clear that he is not willing to stop that relationship so to me that is a big slap in the face to you and your so-called relationship with him. RUN!!!
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
he was reluctant to end the relationship but he did nonetheless. his reluctance is what's causing me problems.
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
It would cause me problems too.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Relist: Incomplete answer.
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
You asked for advice, I give it to you, and you don't like what you hear. What more are you looking for?

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