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Suzanne
Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience:  Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
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I recently met this girl about 4 month ago, we became good

Resolved Question:

I recently met this girl about 4 month ago, we became good friends she would text me all the time, after 3 months I ask her did she won't to be more than friends. she freek out and told me I deserve better and she was not good enough for me. I then realize she almost died to health problems, I sent her flowers and cards and then on day I saw her she said she was not being social towards any-body and needed time to think about her life
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Suzanne replied 7 years ago.

Thanks for writing to just answer.

 

I have to say that it doesn't seem like there is much of a chance for a relationship here. It sounds like she enjoyed having you as a friend, but was in no way ready to go further.

 

When someone says "its better if we do not talk for awhile" I would take that to be a polite way to say "no, I don't want a relationship with you."

 

At this point, my advice is to move on, and put her out of your thoughts. Don't send any gifts, texts, etc. since she has made it clear she doesn't welcome them.

 

I'm sorry this didn't work out for you. Look for another girlfriend who will welcome your thoughtfulness and friendship.

 

Please click ACCEPT if this has helped clear things up for you.

 

Suzanne

 

 

 

Customer: replied 7 years ago.

I agree. told her goodbye as well. Here what's weird she has these up/down moods. she used to tell me your to nice for me and I deserve better. When I saw her on the street last week she told me, I am re-thinking my life and shutting all people out at this time. My health is important. Then she had the nerve to ask about me my knee surgery and would I text her on my recovery. she told me she need space what does that mean.

 

 

Expert:  Suzanne replied 7 years ago.

I had just typed a response to you, and the computer did something odd and I lost it. If this is a duplicate answer, please ignore.

 

This sounds like a woman who has been taught to be very polite and not hurt other's feelings at all costs.

 

Everything she is saying to you is code for "I'm not interested" but she is trying to be too polite and ends up confusing you.

 

When someone says "I need space" it means they are trying to let you down gently...just like "you're too good for me" , etc.

 

I believe she thought asking about your surgery was just the polite thing to do...but it seems silly in the context of telling you she needs space.

 

Seriously, find someone else. This girl needs to learn to be more direct, and will just continue to confuse you.

I know you can find someone who will appreciate you!

Suzanne

Please click on ACCEPT if this has been helpful.

Customer: replied 7 years ago.

now i understand wow. Your right she is a weird person I just did not get the meesage. I told her I agree and it's for the best and wish her good luck in life. I think her deal was she was used to only dating bad boys when I came around with being mr. nice guy it freak her out. But what I don't understand is when I told her this awhile back she text me right back saying I am really worried about you and can I check in on you from time2time. I also believe her health issue's are a major part of every-thing as well.

 

 

Expert:  Suzanne replied 7 years ago.

Health issues do complicate a person's life, for sure.

 

Again, her being 'worried about you" is another example of this over-polite way she has of doing things. She's tryng to be polite...if she were really worried, she would do more than check in from time to time.

 

Let it go...you'll give yourself a headache trying to make sense of all this when it all comes down to her just trying to be polite, while at the same time brushing you off.

 

It's been interesting working on this problem with you. Click ACCEPT if you've found our correspondence helpful

Thank you,

Suzanne

 

l.

 

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