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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
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I am having a severe problem with my adult daughters. In January

Customer Question

I am having a severe problem with my adult daughters. In January they announced that they and their families were going to move from Ny to Fla. Up until that point we had a very close relationship, both with them and my other daughter. When they told me I had a negative reaction to say the least. I was upset and said some things I probably shouldn't have. about 2 days after this my son in law started posting some very nasty things about me on facebook, which I saw. This really hurt me deeply. I lashed out at my oldest and youngest daughter. I knew this was wrong, and did apologize to them. I was so hurt by my middle daughters husband's remarks that I did not extend an apology to her. Now her husband continues to post things about me. The three daughters are closer than ever, and I am left out of my own family. I am very depressed and feel very alone. There are no drugs or alcohol involved, their father and I are still together. The ages of these girls are 37,33, and 28. They are all married and have families of their own, and are all professionals. I was ok with the 37, and 28 yr old, but through my depression over this situation have frustrated both of them.. i cannot get my head around why they seem to support my son in law, and my daughter in this situation. I was not invited to paraticipate in my grandaughters birthday, my middle daughter refused to be in the same room with me to eat on mothers day. They invited their father for a cook out on fathers day and excluded me. Now my middle daughters birthday will be on the 16th and I am sure I will not be included in that celebration as well. I just don't know what to do.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

I am sorry for this difficult time you are having with your daughters. I would suggest once again trying to reach out to your daughters. Since you still have interactions with your youngest and oldest daughter, discuss with them the possibility of having them talk to your middle daughter in order to arrange a time when the 4 of you can all sit down together and discuss what each one of you perceive the problem to be with your relationships and try to work through them. Try to schedule the time so that the 4 of you will not be disturbed and will be in a relaxing environment to talk in. For example, maybe the 4 of you could go to a nice restaurant that has outdoor seating and talk. The goal is to get the lines of communication open, so if anyone starts yelling or screaming, don't emotionally react to it. Instead hear what they are saying and discuss it with them by staying calm and in control of your emotions. If the daughters are not willing to do the above suggestion, give it some time to let the idea permeate in their minds and then ask them again at a later time. Once the lines of communication are open, you will be on your way to hopefully resolving these issues especially since you all must communicate in order to resolve the issues at hand.