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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
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Im a 22-year old Gay man beginning to enjoy my first real

Customer Question

I'm a 22-year old Gay man beginning to enjoy my first real relationship. I've known my close friend Jon for a few years and helped him through some serious health problems. In that time he has been through a few unsuccessful relationships. The last was almost a year ago. I was astonished when he recently asked me to be his boyfriend. Our established friendship and commonalities make us compatible, but frankly, Jon is more attractive than me and I'm shocked that he feels a desire for deeper involvement. When we're together, he's tender and kind but doesn't seem to kiss and caress more than he has to. I initiate and he responds, but I don't feel that he finds me beautiful and I don't feel completely satisfied. How can I tell if this is my own insecurity, my own inexperience, or if, in truth, he ISN'T as physically drawn to me as I am to him. And if that is the case, how much should that matter?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

Based on what you have written, it seems as if some of your concern is pertaining to your own self esteem as well as his hesitation to respond to being physically attracted to you. All of this should not matter too much as long as he genuinely loves and cares about you because that is what matters the most. Additionally, you should work on the areas of your self esteem for your own mental and emotional health do to you initially feeling astonished that he wanted to be your boyfriend. Also, you can talk to him again about this if it still bothers you down the road after you have worked on your self esteem. Many relationships involve partners who are not equally attracted to each other on one level or another, however, what really matters is that the two people genuinely love and care about each other.