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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1768
Experience:  PHD LPC
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There ia guy that I have been speaking with for just over

Customer Question

There ia guy that I have been speaking with for just over a year now, Ive not met him yet, but I really want to, but there is something bothering me. He has grew up with his parents buying him material things as a way to show him that they love him. It seems he is used to getting everything he wants and thinks that it is ok

We have gotten into a few arguments over this because I think it is rude to expect people to buy things for you when you have the means to get it yourself and I don't think buying material things is a good way to show that you care for someone. He had his mobile phone brought for him a few weeks ago, and the yesterday his dad gave him a brand new I phone 4, because his Dad had brought it for his Mum, and his Mum didnt want it. I told him that he should give it back, as he already has a perfectly good phone that his dad got him. He is very spoilet it seems and doesnt really seem to respect people or appreciate that this isnt the normal way.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 7 years ago.
Hi and welcome, I sense that your gut is telling you that this guy, as nice as he is to you has an issue of
being entitled and getting what he wants. You are grounded in reality however his being "spoiled" is his reality. He doesn't know anything else. What is normal for you isn't normal for him. That is why he doesn't feel he needs to change. You will have a difficult time trying to convince him otherwise. If it bothers you now it may bother you in the future. He may think that buying you something (if your relationship goes further than talking) will make you love him or help you get over a disagreement. I suggest you think about what you want out of a relationship. If you can live with his being who he is, then great. If you are bothered then you need to rethink your wanting to meet.
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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
He works, so he really should not have a problem with money. We have gotten into a few arguments over this because I think it is rude to expect people to buy things for you when you have the means to get it yourself and I don't think buying material things is a good way to show that you care for someone.

When he was 14 his Dad set up a family mobile phone pan, and Dad, Mum, Sister, Brother and he had mobile phones and his Dad pays for them. Then in January 2010 he had a new mobile phone brought for him.

Then yesterday his dad gave him a brand new Iphone 4, because his Dad had brought it for his Mum, and his Mum didnt want it. I told him that he should give it back to his Dad, as he already has a perfectly good phone that his dad got him. He said he would give it back, but he still has it today and is still using it today despute saying he would give it back. He is very spoilet it seems and doesnt really seem to respect people or appreciate that this isnt the normal way.

His Dad works in another country and comes home every 6 weeks and stays for two weeks to avoid paying some kind of tax.

I feel he is taking advantage of his parents and being selfish.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Relist: Answer quality.

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