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Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
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Sorry to give advice, but heres what I would say to guys if

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Sorry to give advice, but here's what I would say to guys if I was a therapist: 1. Do you have basic social skills & awareness of women's perspectives on things? 2. Are you able and prepared to make a good impression on a first date? There are other questions, but the point is a relationship needs to begin before there is any point in "being oneself." Even then, many people will not truly be genuine until after 30 years or so! So people can obviously get someplace by being concerned about the impression they are making... The sense of apathy concerns many things about which I should not be apathetic. About relationships, it's mostly apathy that I will ever meet "the one." As a Christian, I'd definitely say I need to be closer to God and get inspiration from him. I guess I've neglected the spiritual life somewhat. Would you agree, and is there any other advice you would give?
Hello and thanks for using!

I'd agree that basic social skills and the ability to make a good impression on a first date are important when it comes to a woman wanting to see a man again. However, there is also the initial element of attraction (to his personality and physically) that will help to determine whether she's interested in seeing him again. I do think it's important for both to "be themselves" on that first date. There's no reason to pretend to be someone else even if you think that person might not accept you for who you are. If that's the case, why would you want a 2nd date anyway??

I'm sorry to hear you're apathetic about this process, but when you meet the right person I would hope you'd find the whole thing exciting and fulfilling in many ways. It sounds like that hasn't happened yet. Be true to yourself -- now and 30 years from now. Part of that is certainly attending to whatever areas you feel you need to focus on in your life (e.g., your spirituality).

Only other advice I would give?? Make her laugh. I can't tell you how often women say the most important personality trait is a sense of humor. I wish you the best of luck!
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