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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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My situation is driving me crazy, I hope somebody can be of

Customer Question

My situation is driving me crazy, I hope somebody can be of help. Anyway, here it goes: My husband is a wonderful man and father, the trouble is, he is unable to say "NO" to anyone, nor can he stand up for himself, he is also a small business owner. For this reason, people take extreme advantage of him. For example, some of his workers "refuse" to wait until payday to get their money and insist being paid on a daily basis. My husband will pay these people however they want to be paid EVEN THOUGH this puts our family in a financial bind. Also, anytime a member of the family needs extra money they TELL my husband not ASK him, if they can go to work with him for a few days. Not only does my husband take them to work with him, he drives all over town to pick them up and PAYS for all his employees' lunches. Our two daughters, of course, has picked up on this and they are now "bossing" him around. Our 20 year old daughter calls everyday for 20 or 30 dollars (I tell her NO, but dad gives in!). Our youngest daughter "demands" her father to take her out everyday for new clothes, toys, etc. While I always say no . . . .he is not able to say no. As I write this, he is taking our daughter out for more toys she doesn't need. Of course, I buy my children what they need, but this is extreme. Other kids at school are noticing how spoiled and rude my youngest child acts. When one of my youngest child's friend's father called the other day to speak to my husband about some trouble the girls got into, my husband ran in the bedroom and hid! I had to deal with the call. This is getting out of hand and is totally embarrassing to me. I have no control over my kids, finances, etc., because everyone goes over my head . . . because my husband gives in to everyone. The worst part about this is when my husband and I are alone, he actually SCREAMS at me because he's "stuck" buying everyone stuff. I don't get it. I am so confused. He has no problem standing up to me behind closed doors. I have tried talking to him about this over and over with no luck. Everyone thinks he's the best guy in the world. I am sick of him giving in to everyone else and then screaming at me in private because he lost control over his finances and blaming me! I am at a total loss in this situation, I will appreciate any help sombody can offer. I should also note that despite the fact that my kids have chores, my husband has "relieved" them of those chores. It is now me who does everything around here. My kids' attitudes are terrible these days.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

Good Afternoon,


He should not scream at you for his own actions no matter what.


It may be that he is codependent (even if it is done subconsciously).


He may not be able to say no (because of fear of rejection).


Regardless of the reasons for his behavior, this is something that really needs to be addressed. It does not seem that he is being too logical when he's talking to you about it. Have you suggested some sort of a way to remedy this to him? He has to be open to make these changes. If you are dealing with a codependency issue, it is harder but not impossible to handle this. Would he be open to counseling or talking to someone objective to get help?

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Relist: Incomplete answer.
I am sure the expert understood what she was writing, however, her answer was not clear to me.

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