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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
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my girlfriend of the last 3 yrs off and on has decided that

Customer Question

my girlfriend of the last 3 yrs off and on has decided that we should just stop trying to make it work and move on from each other. she did this 3 times before but kept calling me back after i stopped calling her . What am i to think now
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

Based on her past behavior, I think you should expect her to call you again. If she does, I recommend sitting down with her and asking her what is it that she wants out of your relationship and discuss this. Tell her what you would like to have out of the relationship and discuss it. Both of you should discuss what can be done so that the constant breaking up and then calling afterwards will no longer occur.
Angela and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
thank you for your answer, I've been going through this with her for so long , we just got back from a Jamaica trip together , but it was like we were two strangers no intimacy or nothing , and soon as we got home this past Monday the 7th of June, the next day is when she says that she wants us both to just move on !
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
I understand, however, if she does in fact contact you then I think you should sit down with her and have the conversation I wrote about above. Again based on her track record it would be surprising if she actually didn't contact you again.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Hello, part of me wantsto believe she will call again, but another part of me thinks this is permanen this time ! I'm really confused right now, as a man , I'm wondering if she met someone else that wants to give a chance to. she ha sblocked my number again like she has done in the past , claiming she doesn't like when constantly call. Plus she feels no communication at all now will make it easier for both of us to move on. What do you think ?
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
It is possible that she may have met someone else and given her past track record she could be just going through her normal motions. Since you obviously and understandably still care about her, decide if you still want to have a relationship with her. If you still want to be a couple, then take some time and think about the things that caused your relationship to end from your perspective and after giving her some time without contacting her, for example a week or two, then try to have her meet with you so that you can discuss your feelings for her and the things that caused your relationship to end and ask her is there any way that the two of you could be a couple again without being off and on? If she agrees, ask her what would it take to make this happen?
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX I feel it in my gut that she has , but this go around we were just spending time together whenever we both had the time to do so, i asked her if she met someone bu she told me if thats what I needed to believe to help me get through this break up then thats fine with her! Yes I do still love her and maybe thats why its hard for me to dela with this again, she has said honestly that she is not in love with me, I have no way to contact her , she doesn't want me calling her job, plus she has blocked my cell number yet again.
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
I'm sorry to hear that she doesn't feel the same about you as do you about her. Now I would suggest that you focus on yourself and on beginning the healing process. Here are some tips to help you because healing a broken heart takes time and there are no quick fixes, however, the below steps will help your broken heart heal.

1. Get a positive support system in place for yourself which includes loved ones and friends you can trust and share this extremely painful experience with and who will also help you through it.

2. You are dealing with various normal emotions due to being separated from someone you were once so close to, therefore, if possible, I recommend going to see a therapist, counselor, etc., in person on a weekly basis to help you deal with this (-especially any guilt, hurt, confusion, frustration, anger, etc. that you may naturally feel). If you are religious, your place of worship may have free counseling available (-many churches have free counseling).

3. Write down how you feel in a journal. Then close out each writing session by meditating: close your eyes, breathe in deeply and exhale. At the same time think of something peaceful. For example: a bright blue ocean with deep rich blue waves gently whispering against the beach. Meditating will help you through this difficult time and it will also help you to heal. It will take some time, but you will get through this very painful and difficult time if you do the above steps.

4. A book I recommended to my clients dealing with the same situation, which they found helpful, can be found by clicking here:
I know it doesn't seem like it now, but slowly and surely you will be able to overcome this.