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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1768
Experience:  PHD LPC
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Hi, last week my husband of 17 years informed me that he hasnt

Customer Question

Hi, last week my husband of 17 years informed me that he hasn't been happy for a year and 1/2. news to me. i also found out he has a bit of a crush on a woman that he works with. he works 2 jobs so we don't see each other very often. we have 5 children 3 are older but the other 2 are young. 5 and7. he told me last week he didn't know if he wanted to be married anymore. he also said if he wasn't with me that he would be with this girl he has a crush on. anyway, through this week i have been thinking, that i'm not so happy either i was just trying to be a good wife and put up with him being grumpy and miserable all the time at home because he worked so hard. but i'm quite sure he doesn't speak to this woman he has a crush on the way he speaks to me. so last night i asked him if he wanted a divorce and he said no, and he don't remember telling me all those hurtful things about the other woman. he also has locked his phone with a password XXXXX i cannot look at it. waht to do.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 7 years ago.
Hi, the best thing you can do is to seek out a marriage counselor and start therapy. You owe it to your children to at least try and fix your marriage. This is a pretty common predicament in marriage. You both have been focused on jobs and children and the marriage took a back seat, hence you don't really care about each other anymore. He doesn't want a divorce (they cost money) so you need to take a stand and state exactly what you want from staying married. When there is another woman involved it may be more difficult to get him to therapy. BUT, even if you decide to divorce therapy can help you get there doing it the "right way" so both of you can move on.
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