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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
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my fiance hates my dog, she is a good dog. he says he just

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my fiance hates my dog, she is a good dog. he says he just doesnt like the type of dog she is. she is an aussie mix. we are planning on moving in together, but my dog can not come, I do not understand this. I love him very much, but I do not want to get rid of her.My house has sold and I will need to be moving. I already made plans to live elsewhere till we can work this out, but he refuses to budge. by the way, he has 2 dogs. I really do not know what to do
Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

Your fiance is being very selfish and controlling about this issue. You should consider not moving in with him until he can be reasonable and compromise and allow you to bring your dog. He owns to dogs of his own so he should understand that dogs are actually family members (-I own five dogs), however, clearly he does not understand this because he wants you to leave your family member behind which is also very insensitive of him. Additionally, his behavior is also a red flag...what is he going to do the next time he insists on having his way and only his way about the next issue that he feels strongly about? It takes two to make a relationship work therefore he must understand that he cannot make any final decisions alone which effect both of you because you both must make the decisions together. Please do not move in with him until he is willing to compromise with you by allowing you to bring your dog. Ask him what is it about your dog that he doesn't like? Discuss this with him and find an acceptable compromise you both can feel good about which allows your family member to come with you and be treated as equals to his other dogs.
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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I did discuss why with him and he said when he was a teenager out rabbit hunting(we are an older couple, 50's) he accidently shot a dog like her , it was running after the rabbit and he didn't see her, it didn't kill her but injured her and got severly punished even though it was an accident.....but you what, I also had another dog I had to have euthanised because of cancer and she was 12 and he wanted me to find another home for her after we had only been together for a short while and I wouldn't do it. What bothers me, if its the dog,whats next.
Yes I agree about what bothers you which is why I wrote his behavior is a red flag. Based on what you have written, he has a history of wanting you to get rid of your dogs. I recommend sitting down with him and further discussing this to try and get to the bottom of the true reasons for his behavior because it sounds as if what he told you about your current dog is a lie. It sounds as if it is a lie because it really does not add up when you think about the reason he is giving you to get rid of your dog. My concern is also that his attempts to control you will only intensify once you are actually living together.

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