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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
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met a man had a long distance relationship for 10 months..good

Customer Question

met a man had a long distance relationship for 10 months..good communication every day got together when he came home. Suddenly at the end of work with 3 months off left for back home said he has issues left undone.blamed my trust issues i had and did not like my sister reminded him of his past with ex and her twin sister. he also visits dating sites when asked he said is not looking for anyone has no time just checks his mail occassionally i did question numerous times and this bothered him. no phone call, texing or e-mails anymore has been 2 months. I send a occasionall hello only responds when he wants.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

I understand what you have written, what question may I answer for you?

Angela and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
where is my answere
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
I am still waiting for you to answer my last post when I asked you: what question do you want me to answer so that I can answer it for you?
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

What is your opinion of my relationship. Do i still have a chance with him if so what do i do? let him come to me?

Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Based on what you have written, it sounds as if didn't want to have a serious relationship after the 10 months due to his issues and that he was honest about telling you that he has issues to deal with. You could have a chance with him if he works through his issues and chooses not to blame you for his actions and behaviors such as when he told you that you have trust issues. He needs to also deal with the issues that he has with his ex and not project them onto your sister because he states that she reminds him of his ex. I think at this point, you should indeed let him initiate and come to you when he is ready to in order to prevent you from getting further hurt by his actions and behaviors.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Thank you Angela...I really cared for this man alot he also confided to me he see's a counsellor when he feels overwhelmed. His past relationships have had a huge impact on him and i feel he is scared to get hurt again. I guess maybe i smothered him with too many questions this man is a workaholic and has confessed that to me right from the start. We agreed to take it one day at a time but i feel so lost and hurt right now that i will do anything to get his attention just to see him. I felt so compatible with him now i don't trust my feelings anymore. Would a counsellor advise him to take a step back from me.
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Your feelings are completely understandable and normal because you deeply care about him. I don't know what another counselor would advise him to do, however, I would advise a person in his situation to take a step back and to get himself together first before trying to have another relationship because until he addresses his issues, any relationship that he participates in will end up hurting the other person as it has with you because he is not fully available to you at this time due to needing to address his issues and to work through them. It is good that he is in counseling and it doesn't mean that you can't be friends or etc., however, my honest opinion to him would be to get himself together first.