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Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1492
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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how do i rid myself of resent

Resolved Question:

how do i rid myself of resent?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
Give me more background information on your problem and I might be able to help.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
its just something i struggle with in general, holding grudges and resentment, just wondering what i can do within myself to rid this
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
So you don't forgive people? Are people entitled to make mistakes? Are you better than others?
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
i do have a hardtime forgiving people, and the sane and rational ego in me says yes of course people are entitled to make mistakes, and better than others, maybe some people are better than others in regards XXXXX XXXXX things, as some aren't as well.
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
I believe holding on to rigid beliefs about people is what is causing your resentment. For example, "nobody should make mistakes, I should never be hurt, people who make mistakes are idiots, etc." It is going to take you, and only you to lessen these rigid beliefs you hold about people and to increase the rational side of you that takes things as they truly are. So, first catch yourself holding the grudge and resentment, identify what you are telling yourself about the situation that is perpetuating the grudge, and then counter that negative talk with something more healthy and rational. Follow these three steps each and every time and you should get better with this. Oh, and one more thing, the part that is rational and healthy, you need to repeat this to yourself over and over again until is sticks with you and you start to believe it. Get good at this because this is where the change in your attitude will take place. If you can't do this on your own then get connected with a therapist to help you through it.
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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
thanks heaps, great advice, will try to follow!!!!

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