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Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
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Im in the military in a long distance relationship with another

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I'm in the military in a long distance relationship with another member of the armed forces, I'm constantly worried that she's going to cheat on me or already is. How can I find out if she is without crossing a line if she's not?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jennifer replied 7 years ago.
Hello and thanks for using!

I think the more important question is how can you learn to trust her in this relationship? Successful relationships are based upon open and honest communication, trust, and mutual respect. Better to get to the bottom of your insecurities together and find a way to overcome them than to find ways to check up on her without her knowing. I'd suggest you revisit the conversation. Instead of just asking, explain to her what you're feeling (fear and anxiety over what might be happening and difficulty trusting her completely). See if she shares your fears or if the two of you can find ways to alleviate the anxiety of the unknown. Think about what you need to feel more secure and don't be afraid to ask for it. Ask her what she needs as well. The distance makes trusting one another more difficult, but certainly not impossible.
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