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Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
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My Husbands controlling Im not perfect either I want to make

Customer Question

My Husbands controlling Im not perfect either I want to make it work but we cant afford a couselor that i dont think we r going 2 servive with out. Is there things we can do at home to make him stop being so controlling like he has a prob with me going places picks out my cloths etc if I dont he gets mad or ruins the whole day over me wearing the wrong shirt or I accidentally looked at a guy with his shirt off walking down the road If I just wear & do what I want with in reason does that help or what do i do or how do i start mending this problem b4 it gets worse
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jennifer replied 7 years ago.
Hello and thanks for using!

It sounds like there are deeper issues at hand than could be solved through a Q&A site -- particularly since the problem solving that needs to be done requires both of you to be involved. Have you contacted any of the community counselors in your area to ask if they offer free or reduced cost counseling services? Many clinics and private practitioners offer services on a sliding scale (based upon what you are able to pay for services). You may contact your medical doctor to ask if he / she has any referrals to offer that have this type of payment schedule available.

Once in counseling, you'll be able to begin looking at the underlying problems for some of these behaviors. For example, the restrictions on what you wear and who you look at are likely related to your husband's own insecurities regarding the image you portray, his trust in you and how safe he feels in your relationship. Your response to those requests is important as well. Counseling is a safe place for the two of you to share your feelings about these issues, work through the underlying issues, and brainstorm how to effectively reach your goals as a couple under the guidance of a professional. I think it would be the most effective place for the two of you to address the problems you've mentioned and work toward mending the relationship.

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