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Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
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Question I have been on no contact with my ex for 21/2 months.

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Question? I have been on no contact with my ex for 21/2 months. we have been broken up for 6months with very,very little contact. He recently tried to contact me I was mad & answered he is currently seeing someone but txtd me happy mothers day...... I have no kids with him... why would a man do that??? He also stated that he does not believe it's over between us. Do men jack with you just for the sake of taking advantage of you or do they mean what they say.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jennifer replied 7 years ago.
Hello and thanks for using!

In general, I like to believe that people are honest with what they say and what their intentions are... Bear in mind, however, that what we want can change day to day. It sounds to me that your ex is still getting something out of your relationship and wanting to keep you close enough that you might be available in the future if things don't work out with the new person. It's not fair to you or his new girlfriend for him to say things like that to you. You deserve to be the only woman in his life or not at all. Try not to get caught up in any games. It may be best to set some boundaries with him now so he knows what you want and how you want to be treated.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
You know that seems to be a common theme with most of my friends that I have confided in...He of course has contacted me again even stopped by my office.. I have not seen him close up in three months..Yet I know he still spent the evening at his new Girlfriends house last nite... I dont want to be that person that fits only if the other doesnt but it is so hard to convince yourself that a seven year relationship is over especially when you are still very much in love with him.... Dont you think if he really wanted to be with me that he would be? Or could he really be imobile and incapable of making a decision Please tell me HOW to move on
Expert:  Jennifer replied 7 years ago.
Yes, I do think that he'd be with you if he wanted to be. Don't be afraid to tell him what you want and ask him to choose. Keeping you close as a "back up plan" isn't what you're looking for. He's an adult and perfectly capable of making that decision.

If it works out, wonderful! If not, focus on the fact that you deserve to be treated better and won't settle for less. Spend some time on personal growth (explore new hobbies, activities, volunteer work, etc.) and surround yourself with friends / family who make you feel good about yourself. Journaling about your feelings during that process may also help you to move on and find happiness again on your own. You'll be that much more secure with yourself and ready to offer more in a relationship when you do meet Mr. Right.
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