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Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
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I messed up with a girl I really like, we went out on a couple

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I messed up with a girl I really like, we went out on a couple dates then her sister's threw her a b-day party at their apartment.Her ex was there and they had only recently broke up after almost 3 years together.I didn'nt know what to think and I got the impression she didn't want to talk to me, I was wrong, she wanted me there.I got blackout drunk and I apparently grabbed a girl's ass and then danced with this girl's best friend by grinding on her and dancing provocatively.It has been a week since, and we've talked a few times and I;ve told her how ashamed I am about it all becuase I really am a good guy, and I have never felt worse about myself then I do now.She said she feels as if she would have no self-respect if she were to date me again, but I feel like she still likes me.She even told me that we are still friends and always will be.She even got me to laugh cause she felt bad I was so upset.What can I do to prove to her that I deserve a second chance?
Hello and thanks for using!

You've done what you can by apologizing. I would suggest you explain how you were feeling when you saw the ex there -- not to excuse your behavior, but at least to help her to understand. Sometimes when we feel insecure and threatened (e.g., in the presence of an ex) we tend to do stupid things. You drank entirely too much and obviously this also affected your decisions. You could offer to abstain from drinking for a while and explain that you'd be willing to make that kind of lifestyle change to ensure you don't do anything to risk losing her (again). One last apology / explanation (either in person or in a sincere letter) and then the ball is in her court. If she chooses to give you another chance, follow through with the promises you make. If not, respect her decision and learn from your mistake.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
We have hung out a couple times since in our group of mutual friends. We have joked around and talked like we used to. The other night we talked in person when I dropped her off and she told me how she thought I was the kind of guy who would always protect her and make her laugh. I got emotional and so did she. She even tried to make me smile because she said she felt bad that I was so upset by this. I will continue to see her because we have mutual friends and we both agreed that it isn;t weird when we see each other. I told her to tell me if there was no hope for us to date again but she said that was not true. I've told her how I felt about when I saw he ex there so she knows all of that as well. I have been honest with everything to this point. Do you think her being around me with our friends, trying to make me smile and joking around is a good sign for us to date again? Or has she simply said forget him romantically lets just be friends? I think I tend to over analyze everything but right now its kind of hard for me not to.
She obviously isn't so upset by this that she's not wanting to spend any time with you... That's good. The fact that she said it's not true is also a good sign (when you asked if there's no hope to date again). Continue to spend time with her, show her how supportive you can be (on your best behavior, of course) and revisit the conversation when you feel like the time is right.
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