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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  n/a
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My newly wed wife, 3 years just had her son overdose, he may

Resolved Question:

My newly wed wife,of 3 years just had her son overdose, he may recover, but will not ever be the same, possably an invalid, requiring her constent care, he is only 21, so it may go on for many years, we are both in our 50s and im having a hard time seeing what the future will be like, i guess i feel since he was a partier and didnt care about hurting his mom by what he was doing he doesnt deserve her aid, which sounds selfish on my part, but do i give up my life and dreams for this? Ive been very supportive to her, its been 2 weeks she has been gone, i spent a week with her in the hospital, i never liked her son because i saw him constently hurting his mom, but im having issues dealing with this, cant sleep, hard time working, i never thought something like this would affect me so much, my brother died from the exact same thing 5 years ago, tore my parents apart, my mom still blames my dad for it and now friends of my wife are starting to say im to blame
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

You and your wife are dealing with a great deal. You are entitled to your thoughts and they are not selfish because you care about your wife and her son constantly chose to hurt her. In spite of this horrible time that you are both dealing with, I would recommend choosing a time to talk to her face to face about all of the above concerns you have mentioned because they are affecting your marriage in a negative manner. Be sure to ask her to share with you how she feels about her son's overdose and does she blame you for it as her friends do? Discuss the financial implications as well because you are not made out of money so this issue must be addressed due to you spending a great deal of money. Discuss any other concerns you would like to pertaining to this situation. Also, ask her would she be willing to go to counseling or to a support group to help her deal with this major life changing event pertaining to her son? Please know, that although her son is still alive, due to his current condition of not being able to take care of himself, your wife will more than likely still need to go through the stages of grief in order to be able to deal with this. Click here to read more about the stages of grief.
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