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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
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i have a big crush on a co-worker. she probably knows i have

Customer Question

i have a big crush on a co-worker. she probably knows i have the hots for her, and have had a few chances to strike up a conversation, but have been too shy to do it. this has been going on for a few weeks....and now i dont know if its too awkward to go for it! please help!
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

Based on what you have written you could ask her would she like to go out for a drink (-drink meaning any type of beverage such as coffee, etc.). I would ask her in person because some people get offended by receiving a text message, email, etc. asking to go out. I wouldn't ask her to go out for an actual bite to eat just yet because you both may be more comfortable with just a drink initially. After the two of you finish the drink, if it goes well, then you may both decide to go get a bite to eat. Also, initially asking her out for a drink may cause her to feel less pressure than if you would have asked her out on an official dinner date. Prior to asking her out for a drink, I think it would be best to practice how you would ask her out by doing this exercise; do this when you will be undisturbed at your house. The exercise may sound silly but it works for many of my clients who are shy and timid. When you are alone and able to practice, get in front of a mirror (-a full length mirror if possible). I want you to breathe deeply as you simply think about asking her out (your eyes can be open or closed initially). I want you to visualize the entire scenario of asking her out in your mind while you breathe deeply. Next, after you have played out the scenario in your mind, then continue to breathe deeply while looking at yourself in the mirror and pretend that you are now asking her out. Pay attention to any changes which occur in your body such as getting nervous etc. and continue to breathe deeply and to go through the process of verbally out loud pretending to ask her out. Do this for at least several times before you actually ask her out. Each time that you do this exercise it is important to fully concentrate and focus on what you are doing. What usually happens from this exercise is that you condition and prepare your mind and body for the actual time when you will ask her out. As a result of this pre-conditioning, when you actually ask her out, it will usually go smoother and easier because you have previously conditioned your mind and body to go through this scenario.