How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Angela Your Own Question
Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Angela is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I am with someone 3 years. I am 51, he 53. We r orthodox Jewish.

Customer Question

I am with someone 3 years. I am 51, he 53. We r orthodox Jewish. He does not want to get married, but we spend 3 or 4 nights together plus time during the day, share a checking account, car, shopping etc. Problem, he will lend me money generously ( he is a musician that does not get alot of work these days) but never ever buys me flowers, no card last birthday, no kissing ( but very hot sex otherwise). But he will buy me present if I ask a few times. I know this means no emotional att, but every time I pull away , threaten to (wrote a major dear XXXXX letter) he becomes so nice and doesn't seem to want me to leave. He also got insanely drunken, screaming jealous when I slept with someone last year. What's up?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

Obviously, you are not comfortable or satisfied with the nature of your relationship. However, your friend seems to be comfortable with your relationship just as it is, which could be why he doesn't buy you gifts unless you ask as well as not giving you a birthday card on your birthday and etc. Therefore, when you have threatened to leave he acted sweet and nice in order to keep you in the relationship. Once you stayed, he resumed his previous behavior in the relationship (-no gifts etc.) because he is happy with the status of your relationship. However, if you discuss going on dates or anything else that makes him feel threatened about loosing you, this would make him jealous, yell, etc. because he doesn't want to loose you and therefore he would repeat the cycle of being nice and sweet to you for a while in order to keep you in the relationship.