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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
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I have had a best friend for years. We have been friends since

Customer Question

I have had a best friend for years. We have been friends since 7th grade and best friends since 9th grade. We are both ending our first year in college. I am gay and she is straight and Christian. She has always hidden me from her family and other friends, and I can no longer take it. We talked about moving out, we looked at apartments, and so much more. We decided on when to move out and where. Then she brought it up to her Christian father. When she was 12 she said she wouldn't move in with a guy till she was married. He said no not in a million years and then she said changed her mind. I am so hurt and sick of being hidden. She won't move in or change hiding me what should I do? Any advice for her? I need good advice please. She is planning to move in with an old friend of ours in the same apartment, an earlier date and it hurts even more. I am sad all the time, it is all i can think about and I really wanted to move out, too.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

Based on what you have written, it sounds like you have a choice to make. Do you want to continue to be close friends with someone who treats you in this manner due to being afraid of what her parents will think? I understand that you care about her, however, you cannot control her actions. It sounds as if your friend is not strong enough to stand up for you being her friend. You have already tried to persuade her to no avail. Now it is time to focus on your own mental and emotional well being. It is difficult enough in our society for anyone to be gay, lesbian, etc. Therefore, I suggest you surround yourself with those of your friends who fully accept you and don' t hide you because if you continue on with your friend you will only continue to get deeply hurt. You will need to put a little distance between yourself and your friend in order for you to begin to heal from the years of pain you have endured from her hiding you. I suggest explaining the above to her using your own words and then put some distance between the two of you.

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