How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Dr.G. Your Own Question
Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1492
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dr.G. is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have been married for 25 years. I have at times things I

Resolved Question:

I have been married for 25 years. I have at times things I don't want other people to know regarding personal matters and business matters. My husband will invariably blurt out what he knows to someone else, that I have told him I want to keep confidential. This problem has become increasingly worse and is beginning to cause problems in our marriage. Can you help?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
SO if you talk to him and he still continues to tell others there is only one thing to do. You tell him as clear as possible that because I cannot trust you to keep things personal, I will not be telling you important matters anymore. Then leave it at that. He deserves what is coming to him and doesn't deserve to be trusted.
Dr.G. and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
But also because we are married and live together it is difficult to exclude him from a lot that goes on. We have no other problems in our marriage.
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
Well the things you can't control him knowing then you are going to have to accept that he will run his mouth and try not to let it be that big of a deal to you.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
He is the nicest and most intelligent person I know. Everyone who knows him would describe him like this. I know he does not try to hurt me intentionally. I don't know what makes him do this. Is there some place he can get help?
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
Give me an example of something he has done to make you mad.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I am applying for a new job. I do not want anyone to know about it because if I don't get it I will feel a little dejected, at least for a short while. My husband told the person most in this world that I did not want to know, and the reason I did not want the person to know is because the person is very involved in this particular organization that I am applying with. We don't like each other, and I feel this person will take pleasure in me not getting the job should I not get it. My husband doesn't mean to be mean. He is just a bucket mouth.
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
Ok I figured this was going on. I think part of the problem is that you are weighing most of this information he tells as "very important" and so of course you would be upset if he told "very important" info. BUT, and I knew this was happening, the information is not that important and it is going to take you realizing that in order to work through this issue. The issue is with you being insecure and "not wanting people to talk about you" which is not your husband's issue but yours that you need to work on. Start to change the value you place on people's opinion and the value you place on all of the information and you will definitely feel better. Good luck.
Dr.G. and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you